i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize