Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Randomize
