Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
