would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
