yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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