Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
