Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize