oh god the rape fog is back!
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
