we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
