I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
a search helicopter?!
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
