Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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