Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
