DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
