That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
i believe in u and ur pee
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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