so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
