So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
