my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
MIDGETS
????
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
