she looked like the bat from fern gully.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
