Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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