So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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