My hand turned me down
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize