I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
