Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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