I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
