Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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