birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize