Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
