woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
