Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
