i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
We left the knife in your bed.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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