I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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