I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Randomize
