For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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