i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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