In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
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