You just made me feel so damn special
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
We got so high we made milksteak
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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