i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Randomize
