i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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