What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
