grandma shit on top of the toilet
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
