Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Dignity is for republicans.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
