reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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