I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
