I think my fart just growled at me.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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