it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
