he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize