So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Naked. naked and bneed help.
A bitchslap is in order.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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