You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
