Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
