i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Randomize
