apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
