So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
