Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
