Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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