Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize