wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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