"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
