ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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