I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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