I'd wear matching sweaters with you
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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