it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
