Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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