I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
