On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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