Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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