id be glad to
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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