carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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