And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
