I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
