if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize