dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
