Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
